Who Can I Talk to About My
If you want to talk to a professional about your
options, there are different places you can go. Counseling at the places
listed below will be free or cost very little.
- Crisis pregnancy center—This is a place
where they talk only to
pregnant women. It might even have a maternity
where you could live until the baby is born.
- Family planning clinic—This is a place where
women get birth control
information or pregnancy tests.
- Adoption agency—This choice is good if you
are already leaning
strongly in the direction of adoption.
- Health Department or
food stamps or welfare
worker can tell you which clinic or department is
the right one.
- Mental health center or
agency—Counselors at these
places help all kinds of people in all
kinds of situations.
No matter where you go for counseling, a counselor
should always treat you with respect and make you feel good about yourself. A
counselor may have strong feelings about adoption, abortion, and parenting a
child. Nevertheless, those feelings should not influence their professional
advice nor the treatment provided to you. In order to make up your own mind,
it is important for you to get clear answers from your counselor to the three
questions found below. The answers to these questions will help you
choose the best option.
If I feel I cannot carry my pregnancy to
term, how will you help me?
If I decide to take care of my baby myself,
how will you help me do that?
If I want to place my baby for adoption, will
you help me find an adoption agency or attorney who will listen to
what I think is right for us?
If you are not happy with the answers you get, you may
wish to find a counselor at another place.
Will my child wonder why I placed him (or her) for
Probably. But adoption in the 1990's is probably a lot
different from what it was when you were growing up. Most adopted adults
realize that their birth parents placed them for adoption out of love, and
because it was the best they knew how to do. Hopefully your child will come to
realize that a lot of his or her wonderful traits come from you. And if you
open adoption, it is likely that you will be able
to explain to the child why you chose adoption.
Why am I placing my child for adoption?
If your answer is because it is what you, or you and
your partner think is best, then it is a good decision. Now it is time to move
forward, and not feel guilty.